Getting in the last word.

Wow.  So today is the last day we're going to be in Kalamazoo.  I have to get up in about 5 hours to finish loading up the car, but I'm pretty full of adrenaline and thoughts right now... so going to sleep is going to be hard.

Today was good but difficult at the same time.  My parents visited for a "one last dinner together" which was nice.  Also, my friend Josh came over to say goodbye for the last time.  Everything was going great until I helped him load things into his car... and things kind of hit me again.

I mean, this was the last time that I'd see him for a while.  When Curt left the other night it was the last time I'd see him for a while.  And the party last week was the last time I'll see Dustin or Fisher for a while.  And suddenly the knot in my throat wouldn't go away.  Josh and I hugged it out, and it was hard to choke down the emotions.

You know, something that I make a point to say to my close friends is that they're like family.  Unlike most of them, I was an only child.  And while I've been blessed with good luck meeting new people, there are a rare few that not only touch your life, but stay in it.  And those guys have stayed with me through a lot of times... good and bad.  Saying goodbye isn't just a farewell to the person, it's saying farewell to the promise of more times with that person.

And it's hard.  Because my brothers are here and I'm moving.  Because I've never had to really let go of friends this close before.  But the things that are important in your life... you tend to hang on to.  And I have no intention of letting them go.

I was with Curt when he went through a bitter divorce years ago.  I laughed at Dustin's wedding as a groomsman.  Josh was there at my wedding.  Fisher and I have known each other since we were six years old.  These are not just friends.  They're so much more than that.  And I owe them my strength and humor, and so much more.

Thankfully, it's much easier to stay in touch now than it was years ago.  We can talk on the phone, send each other e-mails, and talk on Facebook (yeah, I finally caved.  I'm completely addicted to D&D Tiny Adventures, by the way).  Even my completely bad ass ex-neighbors Derek and Becca keep in touch with us, which is awesome.  So distance doesn't have to be as final as it used to be. 

Well, this post was more sad than I meant it to be.  Cristina and I are very excited about the move, and love the possibilities that Seattle represents for us.  And I have faith that things will work out.  I guess the feeling that I have is like the first day of school:  part of you is really excited about all the new people and the things you'll see... and the other part is terribly afraid that you'll piss your pants in front of the other kids.  Cause, you know, then they'll call you pee pants.